- You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
- You root for a shitty soccer team from Toronto.
- No one can understand a word you are saying.
- Dressing up means wearing a Canadian Tuxedo: jeans jacket, stupid T-shirt and jeans.
- Your girlfriend looks like a hockey player and drinks beer like a longshoreman.
- You know what a trillium is.
- Your USL team out-performs your MLS team.
- You are a drunken lout.
- Your flag has a fucking leaf on it.
- Your prescription drugs are as cheap as your women.
An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened."Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here.""That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?""Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."
Columbus Till I Die!