Real Salt Lake to Win at -200

By El Luchador
Real Salt Lake v New York Red Bulls, Wednesday, Oct. 14, 10 p.m. (EDT)
TV ESPN2
There is no team in MLS more pathetic than the New York Red Bulls. With 18 points in 28 games, the Red Bulls' record is nearly twice as bad as the next most shitty team, San Jose who have a comparatively respectable 29 points in 28 games. At -23, NY's goal differential is by far the worst. Again San Jose are next at -12. And here's the kicker: New York have not won on the road since George W. Bush was still sitting in the White House reading the bible and waiting for the Rapture. Meanwhile, the fervent prayers of God's chosen people and the other empirical things going for Real Salt Lake, make a bet on the Mormons a sure thing.
OUR PREDICTION: RSL to Win. Big Time.
MONEY LINE: RSL -200 TIE +265 NY +475
LUHAMETRIC:
RECENT TRAVEL Advantage RSL: This is another big difference between these two squads. RSL come into this match with a club-record 18-day break from league action, and they have been resting comfortably and preparing for this match at home for nearly 3 weeks. By contrast, NY are in the 4th week of a 3-game winless western road swing where they have traveled more than 3,000 miles.
HOME –v- AWAY FORM – Advantage RSL. RSL have not lost at home since a 2-0 loss May 16 to Kansas City. That was their only home loss of the season. Meanwhile, NY have not won on the road since July 8, 2007 when they eked out a 1-0 victory over Colorado. Think about it: It has been more than two years since New York have won a game away from home.
INSPIRATION Advantage RSL: Eliminated from playoff contention, the Red Bulls are trying to avoid becoming the third team in MLS history to go winless on the road for the entire season. (One of the two other teams to do so was the 2008 Red Bulls squad). Real Salt Lake still have a chance at the playoffs. If they win this, and other things go their way, the Polygimists still can make the International House of Soccer's "every-child-is-an-honor-student" style playoff system. They are just four points out of the final wild card spot with three games still to play. In short, NY have only their honour to play for, which is to say NY have nothing to play for. RSL have the possibility of winning an MLS Cup berth in their home finale.
HISTORY Advantage NY. This is the weird part. RSL have never beaten NY. You heard that right, in 10 games in all competition, RSL are 0-4-6 vs. NY. Don't let this fool you. Remember, NY suck. Really, really suck. RSL are due for a win against these guys.
RECENT FORM Advantage EVEN: RSL – TLLTWW (8), NY – LTTLWW (8)
INJURIES Advantage RSL: QUESTIONABLE: MF Ned Grabavoy (L foot contusion); PROBABLE: FW Fabian Espíndola (R hamstring tightness); MF Javier Morales (R ankle sprain); GK Nick Rimando (illness); DF Robbie Russell (illness) NY: OUT: DF Kevin Goldthwaite (adductor surgery); FW John Wolyniec (L ankle surgery); QUESTIONABLE: MF Jorge Rojas (L knee hyperextension); FW Juan Pablo Angel (R ankle sprain).

The Masked one doesn't do this very often, but here goes: The Luchametric guarantees this outcome. RSL will win. Bet the rent money. Do it.